Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Jim Croce Said It Best

Samuel starts preschool Wednesday morning and I find that my feelings have gone from "Wahoo, Samuel starts preschool tomorrow" to "Really? My baby starts preschool tomorrow?" Now I know it isn't kindergarten or high school and I know its only 2 mornings a week but it feels like the start of something big. Actually, it feels like the end of something and I can't keep the tears from falling.

I'm a writer which means I inherently hate cliches but I can't help but ask, "Wasn't it just yesterday I was bringing him home from the hospital?"

And maybe tomorrow feels a little sad because I know it is just the beginning of Samuel's journey. I know that when I drop him off tomorrow with his new jeans and shiny backpack it will be just the start of waving goodbyes.

So tonight at bedtime I held him longer than I usually do. I touched his soft skin and buried my head into his neck and let his curly hair tickle my cheeks. I drank in his smell and tried to memorize the way his tiny little body felt in my arms. He asked me, "Mama, you sad?" I answered, "A little bit. A happy sad." He replied, "That doesn't make any sense." and my laughter broke the moment. I kissed him and then made him promise he would call me every day of his adult life. Not knowing what he was promising, he happily obliged.

Again, I wonder, wasn't it just yesterday I was bringing this miracle home from the hospital?

From this....

...to this! Pooping, smiling cowboy at Nana's!

....or this! 'Cars' obsessed cutie.

...or this. My beloved Samuel Edward.


Amber said...

He's beautiful. Can I have his hair? Please...

And we have 397293 of those Lightning McQueen cars, too....where'd we get all those? Were they Happy Meal toys or something, because, I swear, they are ding dang everywhere.

bestie kim said...

i made bailey promise that she would ALWAYS think i was cool and never a dork and that she would ALWAYS like to hang out with me!!
oh the things we make our kids do! i see therapy $bills in our future!

Jen said...

You made me cry - and is that last picture in the corn at the fair? We thought that was such a cool place to play!!