Coach, We Love You So Much We Named Our Hamster After You

About a month ago Samuel asked Hot Jeff if we could get a hamster. Hot Jeff replied, "No way. Those things stink." Samuel pouted for about 45 seconds and moved on.

A few days ago Samuel asked Jeff again (I love his determination; I think he gets that from me.) and Hot Jeff says, "Sure." Sure? I questioned him, "I thought you said we couldn't get one because they stink?" Hot Jeff: "I never said that." Me: blank stare. Samuel: happy dance.

This afternoon Samuel, Emily and I were all curled up in the big bed having some afternoon down time and watching The Secret Garden. I knew if I didn't get up and get moving I was going to fall asleep and wouldn't be able to sleep tonight so I said it..."Wanna go get a hamster?"

Yeah. They did. Yeah, go ahead and comment about what a stupid question that was.

We hustled off to Petco. While we drove out there we discussed names. Samuel shouted out 'Pawnee'. What the heck? Pawnee? I can only assume that is his Native American heritage coming out in him. Pawnee? Really Samuel?

Emily tossed out 'Peanut'. I liked Peanut. Very cute. I tossed out 'Maple Syrup' and just calling him 'Maple'. The kids liked it and it got them thinking down the food-name-road. Samuel threw out 'Taco'. Taco. I couldn't stop laughing and for that reason alone decided we just had to name our hamster 'Taco'. He was probably going to end up being taco meat after all. I wanted to throw out my other inappropriate names but didn't want to frighten the children. I liked, 'Tastes Like Chicken' or 'Number One' as in we'll-be-getting-number-two-after-this-one-dies.

We talked names the whole 10 minutes to Petco and as we pulled in to the parking lot Samuel shouted out, "What about Shacky?" I swear I have NO idea where he comes up with these names. With the exception of 'Taco' that kid is quite possibly the worst hamster namer in the whole world! The suggestion, however, got me thinking of Shaq and other sports names and then I had it! Jacquizz! Jacquizz is the star running back for Oregon State and our whole family loves him. I said, "I've got it! How about Jacquizz?" Samuel cheered and Emily screeched, "Jacquizz Rodgers!" It was awesome. I was very proud.

Once inside we found that the male hamsters were a little nippy. Not one for rodent bites or rabies, I asked about the females. Samuel, not one to miss a beat, says "We can't name a girl Jacquizz." He may not be able to name a hamster but the kid is bright as a light. I started thinking about female Beaver names. Oh you know it...Riley! After the beloved Coach Riley. Someday I'll tell you how I got Coach Riley to call Hot Jeff on his 34th birthday. Maybe I'll tell you that story on Wednesday, Jeff's birthday and then you will all want to be married to me because it is quite simply the.best.story.ever and it really makes me sound like an awesome wife. Which I was. Before I had kids. Now I'm just pretty average. An awesome average but average none the less. Speaking of awesome-average, who thinks I cursed Hot Jeff with his "40 Rocks" birthday cake?

Its almost 10:00 now and the kiddos are in bed. Riley is in her Taj Mahal cage and I can hear her little exercise wheel going, going, going. Did I mention they are nocturnal? I'm glad it doesn't squeak because it is in Samuel's room. Don't feel bad for Roo, tomorrow it will be in her room. They love her. We are all kind of enamored with her actually. Well except Hailey the Wonder Cat who is convinced that Jeff and I lost our ever loving minds 4 years ago when we brought a screaming infant home. That was also the same day she began holding a grudge against me because she saw that I could produce milk from my breasts. The first time Hailey saw me breast feeding Samuel she had this pissy look on her face that said, "What? You make milk? You have been holding out on me. You are dead to me."

Don't get any ideas Riley. I don't milk anymore.

Real or Plastic?

Really people, only one comment on ATH's Facelift? I know I kind of just sprung it on you and didn't even do a poll or anything but only one comment? For the record, the one comment came from my Bestie of long-standing, Traci (23 years and counting) who wanted to know if Slutty Vixen had made the changes. No, my super-hero/alter-ego did not make the changes and here's how you know: there is no black lace anywhere. SV totally would have made the background black lace to subconsciously suggest under-garments.

So let me have it. Love it or hate it? Love it but wish there was more color? Hate it and wondering what is up with all the polka-dots? Really don't care because you just come to see pictures of Hot Jeff?

Thinking about my blog's recent facelift got me thinking about cosmetic surgery. Now let's just get this out there...I'm not talking reconstructive surgery or surgery for any medical reasons. I am talking good old fashioned snip-it-if-its-draggin' or saggin'-surgery. Like for example, if I were going to go under the knife I would have my neck tucked (I have a disproportionately large neck), my boobs lifted, my belly and thighs sucked dry and my butt completely removed and replaced with Jessica Alba's. I would also have the freaky taken out of my pinky toes because why not, I'm already under and out of commission for 8 weeks and I really do have some freaky in my pinky toes.

I just don't see it happening though. I think we should try to improve our bodies with diet and exercise and then make peace with who we are and how we look. First of all, most of us have these "flaws" because of child bearing, breast feeding and aging. Aren't those all really wonderful things to embrace? To be proud of? To wear as a badge of honor? And, by the way, my Shrink just bumped my Celexa dosage up from 20mg to 30mg so if this all sounds a little unlike me its just because I'm medicated.

On the other hand I understand that life is short and shouldn't we try to be happy in that short time? If that means having a nose job or a boob job or a tummy tuck or a cheek lift of whatever else helps you feel a little better about yourself, isn't that ok? I could be persuaded, in fact I'm making the argument, that some people are so hindered by an outward feature that having cosmetic surgery may help them to be even more the person God created them to be.

So give it to me straight ladies--how do you feel about cosmetic surgery? And if I get one comment about breast reconstruction after a double mastectomy I'm going to come egg your house because that is totally NOT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. Also, Christy from My Presidents suggested I comment on other people's blogs to increase traffic to my blog. I typically don't read other people's blogs because I find it messes with my own voice but I tried it and no kidding, one lady had 125 comments on one of her posts. 125 comments!! Are you kidding me? You guys so have your work cut out for you.

Pigs in a Blanket--Update
Upon writing the first post my leftie felt much, much better. However, rightie continued to swell, throb, burn, be tender to the touch, etc. Dr. Morgan said I was well on my way to having an abscess (that would need to be surgically drained!) and advised to take a hot shower, drain it completely using a pump and put me on antibiotics immediately at 8:30 last night. I love that woman...

Thanks be to Jehovah Rophe (and Dr. Morgan. and Maryanne for letting me have the pump that I had just sold her back.) my rightie is almost 100% better this morning! How crazy is that? Dr. Morgan said it would be at least a day or two. I know God put His healing hand on me to bring some relief; just having the seat belt on yesterday about sent me to the moon. Thanks to all my dear friends, especially Jenny Carpenter, for the advice and well wishes.

Tuesdays with Traci
Starting this coming Tuesday, my cousin Traci (who you all know as Bug) will begin doing a guest blog on this site. In turn I will be doing one on hers. Bug's topics will include gardening, couponing, spiritual musings, etc. (and perhaps maybe even a good "Jen" story every now and then). Bug and I lived together in a run down trailer while in college at MSU. Good times. She lives in Raleigh, North Carolina with her husband Chris and two daughters Abigail and Katie. We meet in Montana every Spring with our 4 children and without our husbands. We completely take over my Mom's 1200 square foot house; last year Emily literally slept in a dresser drawer! Our kids are all 1 year apart and adore each other; God has given them a special closeness and love for each other despite the miles between us and that we only see each other once a year. Bug is much more like a sister to me than a cousin and I know you will love her funny writing style and her amazing, Godly insight on being a wife, mother and child of the King.

Pigs in a Blanket

My Grandma Emily and I came up with this clever little name for the "procedure" I did to myself today at the advice of the RN in my ob-gyn's office. As most of you know, I've made Roo go off the boob. I weaned her to one feeding a day and then went away for the weekend to women's retreat in Cannon Beach. I have been terribly engorged and in a fair amount of discomfort so I called the doc's office today for advice. Here's what I was told: wrap your breasts in cabbage leaves. How funny is that? Desperate, I gave it a try and am actually getting some relief.

I did some internet research on it and apparently there is a natural ingredient found in cabbage that helps with inflammation.

So for you Mommies out there who are having discomfort from a clogged duct or from weaning try the pigs in a blanket. Trim the vein out of the cabbage, rinse and refrigerate until cool (just a few minutes). Wrap the leaves around the breast leaving the nipple clear. Replace with bra (nursing bras are so handy because they have the clip) and wear for about an hour. After the first hour I took a hot bath and put hot wash cloths on as compresses and hand expressed (being careful not to do too much and have my milk let down...just enough to give some relief). I then wrapped fresh cabbage leaves on and went another hour. I've repeated it 3 times so far tonight and have some noticeable relief. I'm saving the used cabbage to julienne and pickle to make sauer kraut...

I've been really disappointed on the information on the internet. There is plenty out there on breastfeeding but not a lot of good advice on how to stop. Frustrating. My advice to is to wean slowly, dropping a feeding every day or two starting with the middle of the night feeding. Be patient with your baby and your body; its a big change (emotionally and physically) for both of you.

Below is a picture of one of my "pigs" in a blanket (man, that's funny). I cropped a lot of the picture so it didn't look so much like a boob and so I wouldn't get reported for sexy boob pictures on my blog. You get the idea and it is just hilarious to see bright green cabbage coming out of a bra.