Housekeeping

Tuesdays with Traci is no longer going to be a part of this blog. Bug and I have had a massive, blow out fight and probably will never speak again. No, I'm just kidding. Traci is taking a blogging break, read about it here. Traci is such a fun writer and I'm sure you'll all miss her; drop her a note on the comment section of her blog to let her know what her posts meant to you.

So now you're stuck with me...
unless I can find some other poor sucker to guest blog on here. Any takers?

I am continuously moved by the lessons God teaches me through my children. If I will have a tender heart and allow my mind to quiet, He teaches me great things about Himself in the quiet moments with my little ones. I've journaled about some of those encounters and would love to share some of them with you sometime. The most fresh on my mind is the one that happened tonight.

First, let me take you back almost 2 years ago when Jen Roth, (my sensei) was speaking at one of the first general sessions of Hearts in the 2008 year. She was telling the story of her daughter Abby crying at her feet, longing to be held while Jen was trying to get dinner made for the rest of the family. While continuing with dinner she prayed over Abby that the Holy Spirit would comfort Abby and that Abby would learn to depend on the comfort of the Spirit in her times of need.

Fast forward to this weekend's sermon...youth pastor Brian Condello preached and spoke about using our words to bless others. He mentioned how important it is that we speak blessing over our children (it was a great sermon and I am NOT doing it justice here. Sorry.)

Sooooo....tonight Samuel was having a hard time going to sleep. He really wanted me to lay with him (not gonna happen) and then he wanted me to go to bed so I would be upstairs with him (also not gonna happen). I felt myself being really annoyed with him; I wanted to yell and threaten but I remembered Jen and Brian's words and felt God telling me to speak blessing over Samuel and to pray for him. I sat on his bed and hugged him tightly, I whispered in his ear, "Lord, please pour Your Spirit out on Samuel right now. You are Jehovah Shalom and so I pray Your blessing of peace on Samuel right now. May he feel Your presence in his room and in his heart as he rests tonight. Thank You for loving Samuel. Amen."

He whispered "amen", stuck his thumb in and nestled down in the covers. Jeff and I are now downstairs hanging out and I haven't heard a peep out of him. Thank You Jehovah Shalom, You are faithful.

Tuesdays With Traci

Tonight I went over to a friend’s house and had some accountability time. It was wonderful. She is younger than me and I got to see much of myself in her. It was neat to see where I’ve come and how I can share with her from my past experiences. It didn’t take long, it didn’t cost any money, but I came home with a different outlook. When I got home my husband sent me directly up to the girls’ room. My oldest, who is rarely affectionate, was crying for me to give her a hug and kiss. With me not being there they actually missed me.

In leaving my family I become a better wife and mother for them.

The person who comes home acts and thinks different that the one who left AND I’m missed and appreciated more when upon my return.

Update to "The Best Cake You'll Ever Eat" post:

I made this today and it turned out wonderful! Someone at the party actually said, "This is one of the best cakes I've ever eaten." So the name is appropriate.

I did alter the recipe somewhat.

* Instead of creme d'menthe I used peppermint extract and water (some sources said I could use grapefruit juice in place of water)

* I took everyone's advice and used chocolate cake rather than white.

* For the frosting I used 1 tub cool whip, 2/3 cup sour cream, 1 cup powdered sugar, peppermint extract, green food coloring.

* I piped melted chocolate for the greeting and dots. If this wasn't going to be for a party I would have made lines on the top like this cake. (Which, btw, I've made several times and looks and tastes wonderful too. That's also where I came up with the idea to change the frosting.)

So hats off to you Friend Traci for introducing us to this great recipe! It's a keeper!

Tuesdays With Traci

Twenty Questions to Ask Your Spouse
Adapted from Faith Baptist Counseling Ministries

Both you and your spouse look over this list and find 5 that you would like to ask the other person. Then go on a date and discuss. I think you will find some of the answers very interesting. I did this with my husband and I learned so much that I didn’t know before. And a bonus - it was nice to have somthing to talk about other than the kids!!!

1. What gifts do you like to receive?
2-4. What makes you most fulfilled or happiest as a man or a woman? As a husband or wife? As a father or a mother?
5-7. What makes you saddest/most scared as a man or a woman? As a husband or wife? As a father or a mother?
8. What do you look forward to the most?
9. How much sleep do you need?
10. What are your skills?
11. What are your weaknesses?
12. With what chores and responsibilities do you like my help?
13. At what times do you need assurance of my love the most?
14. What concerns do you have that I do not seem interested in?
15. What do you enjoy doing with me, with the most enjoyable as first?
16. In what ways would you like me to protect you (physically, spiritually, socially, emotionally)?

17. What things do you think are first in my life? As you look at me what do you see?
18 How might I help motivate you and our children to use your skills and develop your abilities?
19. In what ways would you like me to sacrifice for you?
20. What ways demonstrate to you that you are a very important person to me?

Tuesdays With Traci

This week at our mother’s group we had a speaker share on helping your children with patience, tantrums, and whining. Wow! What a blessing. I thought I’d share her thoughts and then conclude it with my own.

Thee main categories for the whine and temper tantrum
1. Comfort – physical and emotional
Examples: Pajamas too tight, overtired, hungry/thirsty, cold/hot, getting sick, scared, missing Daddy, frustrated with developmental ability? These are usually a simple fix and ones in which grace should be given.

2. Wise in own eyes – Are they in rebellion? Talking back? Do they think they know more/better than you? Angry over an instruction? Proverbs 12:15, Romans 12:3

3. Need for structure –
Are they overwhelmed by too many choices? Are they bored due to inability to govern their own time?

Proactive Training
1. Structure your child’s day and provide boundaries.
2. Teach your child to obey. Obedience is: right away (immediately), all the way (completely), and in a willing way (obedient spirit).
3. Correct your child, holding them accountable consistently, gently, effectively (modeling), and patiently.
4. Patience – Teach children that being patient means waiting with a happy heart/willing way.
5. As the parent, you make the choices. You are in charge. Manage the freedoms and choices your child has to prevent your child from becoming wise in his own eyes. If you give them too many choices then you are allowing them, even teaching them, to be wise in their own eyes.
6. Set a good example. Be sure you are not grumbling, complaining and whining.
7. Encourage our child with truths from God’s word when training throughout the day, not just when you are disciplining. If you only speak of God and the Bible when you are disciplining this will give the child a negative and skewed idea of who God is.


These were all good for me to hear but the one that was most important for me was the need for structure. Let me illustrate:

Last week I was preparing for my daughter’s birthday party, making 10 meals for the meal swap, organizing the MOPS craft, and my house was in shambles. My husband came home to a very frustrated and misty-eyed wife. I had so much to do I didn’t know where to start. If I would have done anything it would have been okay but there was so much that I just stood there, overwhelmed, and did nothing. Our kids are the same way. We say, “Okay kids, I have to send some e-mails, you guys go play.” Then we are surprised that they whine, fight, and crawl all over us. “Why don’t you just go play?!” Believe it or not they are overwhelmed with all their toys and they don’t know which one to start playing with first.

May I recommend another idea: Structure their time and tell them what you want them to play with, where, and for how long. If needed, set a timer. “Okay honey, I’m going to fold the laundry; I want you to sit here and work on puzzles.” “I’m going to fix dinner; I want you to draw Aunt Jen a picture.” “I’m going type on the internet; I want you to sit on your bed alone and read books for 20 minutes.”

One final word (I’m speaking to myself) - When you are teaching your children to be patient and wait with a happy heart you are essentially saying, “Trust me, I’m going to do what I said I’m going to do.” How are we supposed to teach them patience when we don’t follow through on what we say? If we want them to obey us, we need to be respectable and dependable. When we tell our children something, we better do it. I know there have been oodles of times I’m on the internet and my daughter asks for something and I say, “I’ll get it for you in just a minute.” Then I don’t. Thirty minutes goes by and I’m still engrossed in my own world and I’m not doing what I need to do for them.

Tuesdays With Traci

Meal Swap – One of the best things I did this year

First, this is not for everyone. If you are a picky eater or have family members with severe allergies you can stop reading here, this post is probably not for you. On the other hand, if you like to have home-cooked meals, eat a wide variety of foods, and like the ease of having dinner ready in the freezer, you may want to give this a shot.

What the meal swap entails:
*4-6 ladies
*Each lady makes 1 meal for the number of ladies in the swap
*On a set day of the month everyone gets together to swap meals. If there are 6 ladies each person will leave with 6 different meals.
*There is a money cap per meal; ours is $6.
*Most meals can be stored in Ziploc bags. This not only saves room in the freezer but money because you aren't buying aluminum containers every month. (To the right is a picture of 6 freezer meals stored vertically in my freezer.)
*Menus, dietary restrictions, meal sizes, and other issues are agreed upon by the ladies in the swap.

Here are some great websites to get freezer meals: http://freezerchicks.blogspot.com/ ,
http://www.30daygourmet.com,/ http://www.once-a-month-cookingworld.com/ , http://www.recipezaar.com/.

There are several books at the library about freezer meals/once-a-month cooking. Another book that I just found and fell in love with is Fix-It and Forget-It, 5-Ingredient Favorites.

We’ve been doing the meal swap for a year now and our group has ebbed and flowed. There are only two of the original ladies me being one of them. But our group actually birthed a new group last month so the idea is catching on.

Finally, I want to leave you with one of our meal swap favorites:

Chicken & Wild Rice Casserole
½ cup onion, chopped
1 box wild rice, prepared
1 c mayo
1 c cheddar cheese
1 can green beans
1 can cream of celery
3 shredded chicken breasts

1. Sauté onions in butter.
2. Add everything else in mixing bowl.
3. Put mixture in 11 x 13 dish.
4. Bake at 350 for 30-40 minutes (or until bubbly).

For freezing: Prepare as directed in steps 1 and 2. Then put in a Ziploc bag and freeze flat. For eating: Thaw in bag. Continue with steps 3 and 4.

Tuesdays with Traci

Last week our pastor (at Open Door Baptist Church in Raleigh, NC) preached a sermon on “Worship that Pleases God”. He spoke about how far churches have strayed from what God intended and offered these characteristics of a church that pleases God. (I added the stuff in parenthesis for clarification.)

It is God glorifying
It is Christ and cross centered - (the full gospel)
It is saturated with Scripture
It is Spirit empowered
It is orderly and has unity - (not chaotic)
It is congregational – (not people watching a performance but every member worshiping)
It is gospel driven

As he was talking I made the connection that our lives ought to have the same characteristics.

God glorifying – In everything, do I fear the Lord and have His glory as my sole ambition? “Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting but the woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Prov 31:30

Christ and cross centered – Do I remember how much he gave for me? When I am tempted to wallow in my circumstances, do I remember that Christ died for just such a moment and that he knows my suffering? Phil. 2:3-8

Saturated with Scripture – This is where I fall miserably short. I know the basic principles of the Bible but I don’t have them hidden in my heart. I am striving toward memorizing Scripture so that I am always ready to apply it to each situation. I want His words to come from me not my own, which can be erroneous (selfish, worldly, or ignorant). “She opens her mouth with wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” Prov 31:26

Spirit empowered – Oh my, how often am I frustrated at the end of the day and look back and realize I went the whole day in my own power. The mornings that fall on my knees and plead for help and continually talk to God through the day are so much more rewarding. Why don’t we do this more?! Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; let Your good Spirit lead me on level ground. Ps. 143:10

Orderly and have unity – Think about the godly women in your life. Would you say their lives are chaotic or orderly? Are they often breathless and frazzled or one step ahead of the game? They have a plan, prayed-through no doubt, and they execute it with grace and strength. “Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future.” Prov 31:25

Congregational – Are we fellow workers at our church or do we leave ministry to the pastors? (That’s what we pay them for, right?) If you are a Christian, God has given you special gifts and talents that He wants and expects you to use for His kingdom and His glory. Romans 12:3-13

Gospel-driven – What is our goal in life? Know God and make Him known. When we talk people we meet throughout the day do we have this mindset? Do we portray the love of Christ in all we do? Do we show mercy? Are we sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit and speak Truth when we are prompted to do so? “Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us.” 1 Thess. 2:8


Remember you can always check out Jen on Tuesdays on my blog.

Tuesdays With Traci

I came across this devotional when I was grieving my father's death. It was a great comfort for me. I thought there might be some of you going through a season of waiting and/or tears and could use some encouragement. It is from John Piper’s book, A Godward Life, Part II. I highly recommend it if you haven't read it.

WAITING FOR MERCY.

2 Samuel 7:15

"The old proverb says:
No sweat, no sweet: No pains, no gains: No mill, no meal.

It is the same in heavenly things. God’s usual rule is to make us pray before He gives the blessing and to make us fervently pray before great mercies are given. When God makes us knock at mercy’s gate, it is a great blessing. When we plead with God and have not realized success, we become more earnest and more intent and our hunger increases. If we obtained the blessing when we first asked, we would not have a sense of mercy’s value. Standing outside mercy’s gate, we grow more passionately earnest in our pleading. First we ask, then we seek, and finally we plead with cries, tears, and a broken heart.

I never would have been able to comfort anguished seekers if I myself had not been kept waiting for mercy. I have always felt grateful for distress because of the results afterward. Many saints whose experiences are published could never have written those books if they had not waited hungry and thirsty and full of soul sorrow. The spade of agony digs deep trenches to hold the water of life.

If the ships of prayer do not speedily return, it is because they are heavily loaded with blessings. When prayer is not immediately answered, it will be all the sweeter when the answer arrives. Prayer, like fruit, is ripened by hanging longer on the tree.

If you knock with a heavy heart, you will soon sing with the joy of the Spirit. Therefore, do not be discouraged because the door is still closed."

Another wonderful devotional book is by Charles Spurgeon, Morning and Evening. There are numerous places online where you can read this, answersingenesis.org, is just one that I found. February 23 AM devotional was really awesome! If you need some additional encouragement about God being for you and "never forsaking you" make sure to read this excerpt.

Tuesdays With Traci

This recipe is not one I created. I got it from a coworker when I was living in Turkey. Since that time, however, I have become known for these cookies. They are amazing. I thought I'd share the recipe with all of you since you live far from me and can't invade my territory. *wink, wink*

The story behind the name: I gave this recipe to a friend who was getting married. Her husband, as it turned out, had a great love of oatmeal cookies. The next Sunday he came to me at church and thanked me profusely for giving his new bride this recipe. I hope you enjoy them too!

"Your Husband Will Thank Me” Oatmeal Cookies

¾ c vegetable oil
1 c brown sugar
½ c sugar
1 egg
¼ c water
1 t vanilla
1 c flour
1 t salt
1 t cinnamon
½ t baking soda
3 c quick oats
Nuts or raisins (if preferred, I don’t)

Mix all ingredients together and drop by teaspoonfuls to cookie sheet. Bake 350 F for 5-10 minutes or until lightly browned. Yield: 3 dozen (The most I've ever cooked at one time was 18 dozen.)

Note on cook-time: If you want soft cookies, cook 8 minutes, this is how I prefer them. Some people like their oatmeal cookies harder. If so, cook them 10 minutes. They get hard quick so be careful not to overcook.

Tuesdays With Traci

Having a blog which is dedicated, in part, to saving money allows me to receive a lot of e-mails and websites from people who are also interested in saving money. One sent to me recently was Hillbilly Housewife. While I’m all for saving money on my grocery bill there are some things I just will not do. Making my own sanitary pads is at the very top of that list! My first thought when I saw this was, “Can you not cut something else out of your budget to afford pads?!” My second thought was, “Has no one taught this poor woman how to cut coupons?!” I did read her website and understand it’s a moral decision for her but for the rest of you I want to give you the tools so you will never have to download her pattern for sanitary napkins. Ewww.

First, check out this link to read how I simplified coupons. If you are not brand loyal, you will never have to pay for toothpaste, shampoo, razors, or sanitary pads again. Think about how much this would cut from your monthly budget!

Second, know your resources. I had Jen send me a list of the grocery stores in your area. She gave me the names of several stores. I could not find a couponer for Winco or Roth’s but here are some sites to check out the others.

Safeway – Mommy Making Money
Target – Attention Target Shoppers

Walmart & Fred Meyer – Frugal Living

Rite aid & Walgreens – I use and recommend Southern Saver

Let the ladies from these blogs do the hard work for you. Check out what is on sale (or free!) this week and stock-up! It may be a little overwhelming at first but once you get the hang of it you will be kicking yourself for taking so long to start.

One final thing. There are several sales for Progresso Soup this week. Walgreen’s has it for 4 for $5 ($1.25), Target for $1.40, and Roth’s has it for $0.99. If you email me I will send you a link for a $1.10 coupon. (Hit the back button to print twice.) If Roth’s allows overages that means you would make $0.11 on each can. See how this coupon thing is so fun?! My e-mail is: raffertys at bellsouth dot net.

Tuesdays with Traci

Hello everyone! Jen hatched this plan that we would take a day to write on each other’s blog so I thought I’d take a moment to explain my blog to you. Actually, I have two blogs. One is for my kids, written from their prospective, and is humorous. It actually gets more hits than mine. Find it here. The other blog is about the things I’m excited about: gardening, couponing, cooking, etc. This is largely what I’m going to share with you each Tuesday. I’ll start by explaining why I do the things I do.

Why garden?
* It’s a great hobby. I love to see things grow out of the dirt. Last year was my first time gardening and when my carrots began to sprout I ran out in the mud and squealed, “I’m a gardener!”
* It’s a great education tool for your kids.
* It’s fabulous to grow your own veggies and know what chemicals are on them (or hopefully, NOT on them).
* Cheap! Once you have the initial investment of setting up the garden it’s very minimal cost. I grew roughly 40 peppers last year. At $1 each in the stores that is $40 I saved. Not to mention all the other veggies I grew.
* It limits your dependence on others for your food.

Why coupons?
* I was introduced to the underground world of coupons in June. From July to November (the last time I totaled my savings) I had saved $1,500. I joke that it’s an underground world because before someone showed me the ropes I was just clipping one or two coupons and not really saving much. Then I learned there are hundreds of websites devoted to coupons and deals. Other people find the deals at the grocery stores and tell you the coupons which match. Check out BeCentsAble’s Grocery Gathering to find couponers explaining the deals in your area.
* I get so much stuff for free, or super cheap, using coupons that I actually get a surplus. I’ve started challenging others to donate their coupon deals and together we make care boxes for our church. More and more people are coming to our church requesting assistance and it’s nice to meet a part of their needs by giving them food and toiletries.

What about cooking?
* I like to share tried and true recipes and those which have been requested by more than one person.
* I started a meal swap with some ladies from my church (we have been swapping for almost a year now). It has been a wonderful time AND sanity saver! I highly recommend it for any family who does not have picky eaters. For example, here’s the menu for this month’s meal swap: Chinese Pork Ribs, Chicken Taco Sandwiches, BBQ Chicken, Chili, Chicken & Wild Rice Casserole, Cheese & Pesto Manicotti, Joes to Go, and Oriental Chicken. Yummy!
* If you don’t want to swap with other women I would suggest you getting a frozen meal cookbook and put away at least a few frozen meals each month. It’s so nice to pull out a meal for someone who just had a baby OR a friend who’s having a bad day OR for your own bad days!

Finally, I have started sharing devotional thoughts which have made an impact on me. This is a new thing I’m doing but haven’t been as consistent with it as I want to be. I guess it’s kind of a fear of man. I think, “I’m a Christian and I should have Christian things on my blog every other day.” But honestly I don’t feel I have that many spiritually profound things to say! How’s that for honesty! I guess if you see me put something spiritual on there you should take note because it’s not going to happen again for awhile! Ha!

So that’s it for me for this Tuesday. I’m just going to challenge you to think about one of these three areas. Would you like to have an abundant supply of fresh veggies for your family? How about cutting your grocery bill in half? Maybe you need to plan your meals better so you are never caught without a meal come five o’clock. Feel free stop by my Fruitful Labor blog. The first time you come, leave a comment so I know you’re Jen’s friend. If you miss Jen on Tuesdays you can find her on my blog (Fruitful Labor); she will not, however be talking about coupons but I think I've almost got her convinced to try a garden this year!