Childhood Truths

by Samuel

It has come to my attention that my loving mother has been trying to donate me to science. Well guess what Mom? I'm going to tuck this little nugget away and someday when you are old and grey, you need to be spoon fed

and your bladder is failing I will pull this little trump card out...

"Oh Mom, I'd love to have you come live with us but

I was thinking of donating you to science instead".

Childhood Truths

by Samuel

There is no answer given that cannot be

followed up with, "Why?".

Childhood Truths

by Samuel

The Bedtime Trump

Mom and Dad call them stall tactics; I call them necessities. After we read our devotion and say our prayers they turn out the light and say 'goodnight'. At about that same time I decide I need a drink of water. They always say I've already had water. Then I remember I need to brush my teeth. They say I've already brushed my teeth. Then I tell them I need to call Nana. They say Nana is in bed. They have left me no choice. It is time for the bedtime trump: I have to go pee. Silence. Long pause. Unison sighs. "Fine, hurry up and go pee" one of them says while the other one rolls their eyes. Aha, ha, ha. Works everytime. Suckers.

Childhood Truths

by Samuel

There is nothing quite as frustrating as your parents taking a parenting class and then refusing to engage in power struggles with you.