Monday, February 15, 2010

Gettin' My Straight On

I'm not gonna lie takes a lot of time and effort to get from this:

To this:

There is some serious polishing going on and I'm not talking about silver. My hair, as we've already established is nappy. You remember: Getting it all straight, smooth and sexy is an arduous process that entails creams, gels, sprays, spritzes, blow dryers, flat irons and smoothening conditioners. Not to mention ZERO humidity. The whole process leaves my husband saying the same thing every time I blow dry my hair straight, "Your hair is actually steaming. Smoke is coming off of your hair. Look at the house; it is filled with smoke. You are going to get lung cancer. Kids, hold your breath, Mom is straightening her hair again". And he always says it in this tone of voice like I have just driven 14 hours with them in a Ford Festiva with the windows up while I smoked 12 packs of camels. And he calls me high drama.

Well tomorrow that will all change because Salon Sara is putting some sort of permanent straightener in my hair. You know I'd trust Salon Sara with my life so my hair is no big deal. She's fabulous and always leaves my hair looking way more fabulous than when I got there so I don't ask a lot of questions.

"What happens when my hair starts to grow out?" Nope. Didn't ask. "Why does this process take 4 hours?" Never even crossed my mind. "Will I still have my trademark 'flip' after this process or will I have gone all Ashlee Simpson?" Should have asked but didn't. Trust. That is what a girl needs to have when working with the talents of Salon Sara. Trust and a little shot of tequila never hurts. But only when you're going in for a 4 hour straightening hair procedure.

I'll be honest, I'm not 100% certain I'm coming out of there with any pubic hair left.

And that's ok with me. Just as long as I don't come out looking like this:

Salon Sara, if you're reading this...please don't let me leave looking like Sharon Osbourne.


Anonymous said...

wow, 4 hours? i expect a text halfway through... this is a true test for salon sara! - Cary
PS i've just been thinking about my mom posting on your blog, that's funny!

Becky Stephen said...

oh God how I love you - or at least the you you put on your blog. that's GOTTA be the real you, right? no way you'd make up THAT persona.
I laughed so hard when I got the Sharon O bit. I feel so much much better about the real me now. How do you DO that?

Michelle said...

LOL! Too funny. I hear you though. I spend a lot of time getting my hair to straighten. Maybe not as much as you do though. Wow, 4 hours though. I remember spending an hour and a half when I got highlights put in and I thought that was rough.

Thanks for visiting my blog. I never thought of naming my camera before. Or any electrical device for that matter. But now I'm going to have to do that. I've all ready established it's a girl!

Mia White said...

you. are. hilarious.
So are you having Asian hair straightening done? That's supposed to be awesome, GL! Can't wait to see it on Thursday, I'm sure it will be gorgeous. LOVE YA!

Anonymous said...

oh bestie, i am so jealous! i have wanted to do that to my nappy hair for oh so long!! can't wait to see it!!

jessica said...

HaHaHa! I love that you are so candid. Seems like you never hear any Christian girls say pubic hair!
How refreshing :) :)

Dena said...

did you just say pubic hair on your blog??? wow. that's all i've got. you. are. the. best.

Dena said...

did you just say pubic hair on your blog??? wow. that's all i've got. you. are. the. best.