Friday, May 28, 2010

FAQ Friday

Where have you been the last 4 days?

Alright, so technically no one asked me this question but I'm sure some of you are wondering so I'll give you all the gory details. You've been warned, there is a lot of talk about urine in the paragraphs ahead.

Tuesday I just didn't feel like blogging. I had zero energy. I had about 4 different ideas floating around in my head and just couldn't settle on one long enough to get an opening sentence. Zilch. Despite wanting to just lay around all day I managed to get some pretty big things done in preparation for my trip to Montana this morning. Tires rotated, trip to Costco, laundry and some initial packing. I was done in though. By that afternoon I was looking at the calendar to see if I was supposed to be getting my period because only that typically makes me that tired.

I went our for a margarita with Kara that night. Despite being tired, I felt fine and had a delightful time. I was home by 10:00 and in bed by 11. I awoke at 1:00am with severe abdomen pain. I woke Jeff up and thus began our long night. By 2:00 my pain was worsening and we were starting to toss around the idea of going to the emergency room, which made me super nervous and gave me the 'rhea (oh that's just the beginning of TMI). By 2:30 we had decided I would drive myself to the hospital, he would call and wake his parents in 2 hours and meet me there. My pain was intensifying but I felt ok enough to drive and we wanted to let his parents sleep as long as we could sensing they may be in for a long day with our midgets.

Upon arriving at the ER the admitting nurse took me right back to a triage room; I was sweating, pale, wiggling and jiggling from the pain and shivering. Before even registering me they whisked me back for a urine sample. Really funny story involving urine coming your way...

I pee'd in the cup and with trembling hands screwed the lid on. I placed it in the thick, brown bag and washed my hands. I walked down the long corridor, turned the corner to head back in to the triage area when I felt a drip, drip on my toes through my sandals. Knowingly I looked at the bag...yes, the cup was leaking. By the matchless grace of God there was a random sink in this long hallway. I rushed the bag to the sink, removed the cup and screwed the lid on tight salvaging the little bit of urine left in the cup. Sighing, sweating and racked with pain I did what all mothers would do: I grabbed a hand full of paper towels and cleaned up the drops of urine the entire way back to the bathroom. Oh, I wish you could have seen it.

Back in the triage room, another nurse took blood, got my vitals and encouraged me to breathe through the pain like I learned in childbirth classes. Genius.

Within a few minutes the admitting nurse took me back to an ER room where I was quickly hooked up to an IV and the sweet stinging sensation of morphine was in my veins. Hooray. I sat back, closed my eyes and took a several deep breaths. Wait for it. Wait for it. Minutes passed but no relief. Little D, the amazing ER nurse, noticed the pain on my face and said she was going to give me another dose. Heat rushed to my neck and I felt like I was floating, I remember telling Little D I would make a terrible drug addict because I did not love that feeling. Wait for it. Wait for it. Several more minutes passed without any relief. Another dose. 3 doses of morphine baby! Are you kidding me? When the third only took the edge off she brought out the big guns of dolotin (and the only way I can remember that name is because it reminded me of gelatin). That was the drug that made me a satisfied customer and ready for a CT scan.

By 5:00 am Hot Jeff had found me and had gotten there in time to hear the ER doctor tell me the CT had spotted a 6mm kidney stone in my left kidney. 6mm is about the size of a large peppercorn and he informed me that his experience had shown them that is too big to pass and I would need to surgery to remove it. All nervousness that had risen in my chest immediately dissipated when he said I would be admitted. Admitted?? Best news all week. I gave high fives all around thinking of an overnight stay and break from cooking, cleaning and diapering. (Side note: cute ER doctor told me there is a 4mm kidney stone ticking in my right kidney. Urologist wouldn't remove it yesterday because he didn't want "to work on both engines at the same time". Kind of a bummer.)

By 9 am I was admitted to a room on the 5th floor with a surgery time of 2:15pm on the schedule. Around 1:30 they wheeled me back to the OR prep; Hot Jeff was able to wait with me right up until they gave me happy juice in my IV and wheeled me back to the actual operating room. It was a bright, pristine, cold room that I remember seeing for all of 60 seconds.

I woke up in the recovery room oriented and knowing what had happened so instead of the 2 hours of recovery time as they had told Hot Jeff to anticipate I was in my room within about 45 minutes. On the way to my room, lying in a bed, I saw another woman in a bed being wheeled towards me. She had a cat sitting on her shoulders! I told the guy transporting me, "That woman has a cat on her shoulders. I wish I would have brought my cat!" He responded, "Lady, you are on some good dope".

After getting the post-op pain manageable, kept dinner down and pee'd on my own my doctor told me the devastating news that he would be sending me home that night. I held in my tears and disappointment as I looked at the clock and knew my in-laws would have put my babies down and I would be able to go home and go straight to bed, well straight to bed after I updated my Facebook page.

Day one of of post-op has been up and down but mostly good which means I will be taking my pathetic kidneys to Montana as planned. Wahoo!

Have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend and I'll try to stay out of the hospital. Posts from Big Sky Country on Monday!

9 comments:

Joy for the Seasons said...

Glad it all ended well!!

Kristen B said...

Good thing it's still early and not many people are here at work - I was cackling pretty loud about the cat! Hope you are continuing to feel better.

Bex said...

oh man. OUCH. Although, I have to admit laughing at the whole lady with a cat on her shoulders....you are hilarious.

Laura Fenske said...

What a rough couple of days! I'm shocked, of course, to see that you kept your humor through it all. My favorite is the lady with the cat on her shoulder. :) That's when you know the drugs are doing what they were meant to do. Rest easy and enjoy your vacatoin.

Anonymous said...

laughed out loud......again.

shannon

Anonymous said...

Good lord that's a lot of stuff happenin to ya in just a few days. Glad that your better. Oh and btw it's Dilaudid, silly!!!!!

Esther D

Beth said...

Oh friend, what a story! And you tell it in such a colorful way! Glad you are recovering and please, let me know if you need anything (meals, etc.). See you soon!

Christy said...

I know your pain, had a kidney stone a week after Reagan was born via c-section. Gave me some pain stuff meant for kidney stones and I was in la la land, they let me sleep for 3 hours until they kicked me out.
I will never forget that pain and being woken up out of a dead sleep.
I'm so glad that you are better and can go visit your family.
When I have been on drugs in the hospital I often stay "bubbles" right before I go to sleep.

Lindsey@Large: FRESH AIR + FRESH FOOD said...

Kidney Stones are hilarious . . . at least yours are!