Monday, August 16, 2010

I'm not even going to lie to you...I am watching "Bachelor Pad". I swore I wouldn't but Hot Jeff the evil TV temptress got me hooked...just like he always does. I swear that man is in cohorts with ABC. You know, its not nearly as trashy as the previews and the EW reviews made it out to be--not to mention Chris Harrison calling it "spectacular"! "Bachelor Pad" is just like Big Brother but with more kissing. And crying. I think "Bachelor Pad" is like those Sweet Valley High books I read in junior high. Minus the entitled twins driving around in a Fiat.

Since I have a love of all things "Bachelor" it is only fair that you know that I internet stalked Roberto and my suspicions were correct...he is a State Farm agent. In my internet stalking I found out he had applied for a California insurance license and although that tipped me off to him being Ali's final pick I was surprised he didn't start his agency in Oregon so that I could work for him and so that Ali and I could become the bestest of besties that we are meant to be.

I'm pretty certain that somehow in the State Farm universe Roberto and I will meet and Hot Jeff and I will become he and Ali's best couple friends. We will give them marital advice and someday down the road we'll give them advice on how feed their babies and get them to sleep through the night. And they will buy a house next door to us and Ali and I will shop at TJ Maxx together.

I'm pretty certain that when ABC does Roberto and Ali's wedding in a 2 hour special you will see Hot Jeff and I up there as their best man and maid of honor. Hot Jeff and I will be up there smiling through happy tears and wearing designer wedding clothes that we didn't have to pay for but look really awesome in. In fact--I'm going to start writing a song that I can dedicate to them and that they can dance to for their first dance. In it, I will play the didgeridoo. I've wanted to learn to play the didgeridoo since my elementary principal, Mrs. Thorndal, went to Madagascar and came to our class and showed her slides. The didgeridoo is not for the faint of heart.

My only hope is that while at the reception I can dance with Craig. Or at least Craig's hair.

Ok, so we're clear: "Bachelor Pad"= Things I Like.


Laura Fenske said...

Jen. I love you.

thedebackerfam said...

Well! I AM APPALLED!!!! The thought of you cheating on your current State Farm agent sickens me. What does Roberto have that Al doesn't? Hair? Dashing good looks? A gorgeous trophy wife? All I can say Jen is, shallow, shallow, shallow

Mia White said...

You are a riot, Jen.