The Mother Hen

The G Spot

My question is about dryness issues. I have tried different types of lubricants, but none of them seem to last for the entire experience. I usually have to reapply at least once before my husband and I, shall we say, reach the "grand finale". What can I do?
- Dry in Denver

Dear Dry in Denver, thanks for your great question. Like all of the other questions we've addressed in this blog-spot, you pose a question that many, many other women are wondering about so thank you for womaning-up and asking it!

Vaginal dryness can be a really bothersome issue. It can make sex unpleasant or downright painful and it can make your vagina an unhappy place on a regular basis. There are several causes of vaginal dryness and several things that you can do it address it - you do NOT have to just "deal" with a sandpaper between your legs sensation for the rest of your life.

One thing that can cause vaginal dryness is menopause. If that's your situation in Denver then listen up. Estrogen is really the life-giving source to the vagina. Estrogen is what makes your vagina a lush and inviting environment and your uterus a fertile ground. Like we talked about a couple of weeks ago, menopause is an estrogen killer and it wants nothing more than to rob your vagina of it's life-giving source and leave it a cracked and barren wasteland. You need to arm yourself and take back your vagina! If vaginal dryness is your only issue, you can take a localized approach. Vitamin E capsules can be inserted in the vagina, one every night at bedtime. Overnight, the capsule dissolves and the vitamin E is absorbed locally and nourishes your vaginal tissue. You can add natural estrogens to your diet by eating soybeans and other soy based products. So, take your husband out for Chinese food, load up on the Edemame and take him home for a fabulous roll in the hay. Okay, it doesn't work that quickly but increasing dietary estrogen will ultimately increase the amount of estrogen in your system which will ultimately replenish your dry and unhappy vagina. If you've eaten enough soy beans to support a farmer and his family and you have so many vitamin E capsules shoved up your vagina that you wonder if there would even be room for a penis and you're still experiencing dryness issues, you're going to have to woman up again and pay a visit to your local gynecologist. He or she may prescribe an estrogen cream that you apply directly to the vagina and the labia. I have it on good authority from patients and a personal friend that the prescription estrogen cream can be the golden ticket to bringing the action back to your bedroom.

If you're not in any stage of menopause and are in fact 32, have 6 small kids at home, drink 4 cans of diet coke a day, and can run circles around any old lady you know but also experience vaginal dryness, you too are not alone. Menopause isn't the only thing that causes vaginal dryness - see you were worried for a moment that you are in fact a freak of nature, but you're not. First of all, all of the above stuff can work for you too so try the edemame, the vitamin E capsules, and the prescription estrogen cream. Also try putting down your 4 cans of diet coke.....WHAT?!?!?!? Seriously. While caffeine may seem like your only answer to getting through the day with 6 small kids at home, it's also a diuretic which is a fancy way of saying its a dehydrator. Yep, the same diet coke that makes you pee a lot and doesn't exactly make your skin look luminous can dry up your vagina so think carefully about how much caffeine you're taking in every day. You've also got to think about hygiene and drying chemicals that you may be exposing your vagina to. If you didn't read the first blog-spot and you haven't put down your summer breezes vagina spray - do it now! Those feminine sprays and douches are damaging to the delicate vaginal tissue and they can be very drying. If you take your kids to the local pool every afternoon in hopes of losing one or two of them in the crowd, you might be overexposing your vagina to harsh chlorine that can also be very drying.

Make sure that you and your husband are spending enough time on sex and getting in plenty of foreplay. Foreplay is critical for a woman and is the part of the sexual experience that cues the body to provide adequate lubrication. If you're not warmed up enough, you're not going to be lubed up enough - bottom line. If you've tried all of the things I've mentioned and you're only experiencing vaginal dryness during intercourse and you are spending plenty of time on foreplay then you're already doing the right thing - bringing in the lube. Use a good quality lubricant though and in my opinion, that wouldn't be anything that starts with a kay and ends with a why. Look for Astroglide or an equivalent, while it may be a bit more expensive it's also more like your own natural lubrication and works better. I think that your vagina deserves the best and if you don't, you should ponder that...