Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Tina Eats Her Young

Tina greeted me at this morning's Boot Camp with an unreadable "I read your blog." I looked at her skeptically wondering if she was going to make me drop and give her (a modified) 20. She started laughing and said she loved it. Whew. It looked like today would be just a normal amount of torture.

I was nervous about today's class for several reasons and only one of them was if Tina had stumbled upon The Mother Hen and if I would have to pay severely for it. The biggest concern was that I have a heel spur on my left heel and it was KILLING ME after Monday's class. By Monday afternoon I had made an appointment with my podiatrist to see if I could get a cortisone shot and by Monday night I was hobbling around like Gigi and making my husband and children wait on me hand and foot.

Alas my podiatrist would not give me a cortisone shot citing "I'll be damned if I'm going to give you a cortisone shot because you'll feel better and go prancing off to that class when you should be doing non-weight bearing exercising in the pool". Ok doc, number one: I rarely prance. I mostly parade. Number two: Pool exercising is so geriatric. Number three: What kind of doctor says 'I'll be damned'? Number four: Non-weight bearing exercises? Ok, so I have a few pounds to lose but its not like I need a crane to get me out of my house man.

The good doctor did give me some anti-inflammatory pills. And some Vicodin. You know you have seriously had your fanny handed to you when you need narcotics after the class.

When I was complaining to Hot Jeff last night that the doctor would not give me a cortisone shot he said, "I think he's right. Its not like you're Kobe Bryant or anything." That just seriously irritated me because I loved, loved, loved the idea of having a cortisone shot so I could go to class because that is just such a real athlete thing to do. All athletes play through the pain with a cortisone shot. It is so Jennifer-Grey-Dancing-With-the-Stars-finale. Thanks for robbing me of my real athlete dream Dr. Old School.

So back to class today and why Tina eats her young. For the majority of the class we had to carry around a 25lb. weight. And I don't mean carried it around as a group as a team building exercise on working together, no I mean doing flights of stairs carrying a 25 POUND weight. Up and down, up and down, up and down. Wall sits with a 25lb. weight on your lap. Walking the track carrying a 25lb. weight. More wall sits with a 25lb. weight.

It was during one of those wall sits and shortly after Tina told me to "get down" and "get your shoulders back" that I realized Tina has never heard of the Geneva Convention. IF I could have spoken (not enough oxygen) and IF I wasn't afraid of her, I would have gently reminded her of it. And I'm certain she would have laughed her little maniacal laugh and made me take a lap.

When I got home sweet little Samuel was up and watching some "Curious George". He smiled and said, "Mama, where have you been?" "I was working out with Aunt Shannon" I answered. "Did you throw up again?"

"Nope, I sure didn't." But there's always Friday.


Bluntforcemama said...

I agree with your podiatrist. Be attentive! Listen to your body. And you can totes pee in the pool if you do swim aerobics!

At The Picket Fence said...

OH MY GOODNESS! You are killing me here! Just when I think "this is some of her best writing ever", you just go and take sore self to a whole new level of writing genius! Would you ever consider being a guest poster on the new blog my sis and I just started? We could give you a tiara to wear or something to help sweeten the deal...just think about it! :-)

Red said...

I disagree with your podiatrist. But maybe you could wear an orthotic or something. I respect you for pushing through the pain and being tough.

Dudster's Spot said...

You slay me! No really, very good. Carrying around your 25# weight makes you really glad your kids walk most places eh? Keep at it Jen and keep blogging for Heaven's sake.

melani said...

Keep coming back - it will get easier! So glad to have you in class!