Thursday, February 9, 2012

My sweet friend Christene sent me a note (actual paper, actual postage) telling me she was anxious to hear the rest of my story regarding saying goodbye to Gigi.  I feel like I owe that to you, to her, because you faithfully read this blog, faithfully visit it even though there are no new words to entertain you.  And you have been on this journey with me and you want to know how it ended but I will be honest, I don't want to write about it anymore.  I will try to fit in its conclusion somewhere and somehow but to just sit down and relive it now that I'm starting to heal seems counter productive.  Or maybe just sad.  Maybe next month when I'm PMSing and feeling like I want to cry and eat pumpkin pie and listen to soft rock I will finish it up but for now, sorry.

Another friend, Christy, had a kidney stone earlier in the week and read my old blog post about one of my many kidney stones.  That idea intrigued me and so I decided to read it.  Wow, that girl is funny.  She writes so easily; she can really tell a story.  Hmm, where did she go?  Where did her passion for telling a story go?

My sweet "other mother" Lori sent this to me this morning, it is an exceprt from a blog she was reading but I swear I could have written the words myself had I known how.   I was sure my creative days were over and any chance of me ever having anything worth saying again was not only lost but killed flat dead on the ground, limp and lifeless and puny. You know how that goes. When you long for time to write or create, you have exactly 47 billion things to say. And then when the time finally comes, you sit and push out all distractions and you got…nothing.

I've made promises to you in the past that I would get back to this wonderful process of writing.  That I would take full advantage of someone, anyone, taking pleasure in my ramblings and stories and musings and I have failed.  Failed miserably.  I get so busy with kids and laundry and Facebook (Facebook really takes blogging and shrinks it down to 2 or 3 sentences and instant gratification.  Hmm, this isn't the first time this week I've thought I heard God nudging me to take a break from Facebook.)  Anyway, no promises this time.  I'm just going to try and write.  Write anything.  If it doesn't have a title or a moral or joke, I'm just gonna write anyway.  Read, don't read.  Comment, don't comment.

Oh I hope I can do this.


Lori said...

I'm cheering you on! You got this! And God will use your words to bless others. He's just good like that. Love you!

Christi said...

Writing rocks. So do you. I have felt that fb nudge too...sometimes it can be such a thief.

Christy said...

Sometime when I write, I ask myself, how can I make this funny like how Jen would make it funny. Honest to goodness truth, not just trying to make you feel better. But it if worked, then score :)

Anonymous said...

God is using you to bless so many. Thank you for trying to write again. I look forward to it.