Head Ogre Heels In Love

We were a little on the fence about letting the kids watch the movie Shrek. It has a lot of adult humor in it but after some discussion we decided we would let them watch it as the adult humor is over their heads, it has a sweet message about beauty and they would love the 'story' of it. FYI, because we don't have a TV and don't eat fast food we didn't even know Shrek 4 was coming out but have since discovered that little tidbit out and it has helped add to the madness I'm about to describe.

Samuel, bless his heart, is me but 29 years younger and blond. He looks like me, he acts like me, he wakes up like me, he freaks out like me...He's me. He's more introverted than I would ever dream of being (he gets that from Hot Jeff) but all in all--he's me. So it comes to no surprise to me that when Samuel gets in to something he GETS INTO SOMETHING. Like full-throttle-ain't-nothing-stopping-me-now-I'm-buying -everything-in-sight-with-that-on-it. You know his Lightning McQueen phase has lasted over a full year and 2 birthday parties. He's got EVERY Cars car imaginable, a Cars bed, a Cars scooter, a Cars bike, Cars clothes, Cars, Cars, Cars. Up until a few weeks ago Samuel ate, breathed and slept Lightning McQueen...but that all changed when he watched Shrek.

We don't just watch a movie once around this place. We watch it until we have every single line memorized so about 3 days after introducing Shrek to the kids we had watched it about 177 times. That night while I was making dinner Samuel said coyly to me, "Mama, I think I need something soft to sleep with". I began to list the names of the stuffed, soft items in his bed when he quickly stopped me and said, "No Mama, I'm thinking something soft...like Fiona doll".

A Fiona doll? Like the Princess in the movie? The girl? The one with the breasts and wearing a dress? Back. The. Truck. Up. What did you say?

"But not the first Fiona" he corrected, "the second Fiona; the one at the end". "The ogre?" I questioned. Samuel nodded, love filling his eyes.

Not knowing that if I went to any toy store in America I would be barraged with Shrek toys I explained that Shrek was an old movie and I didn't think we could buy Shrek toys anymore. I suggested we find a picture of her online and print it out...big hit. Huge hit. Ginormous hit.

Here she is...

Hot Jeff "laminated" her with contact paper which turned out to be the best idea HE HAS EVER HAD because, no lie, Samuel carries her with him everywhere. I am not kidding you, he doesn't go anywhere without her. I knew there was something obsessive compulsive and creepy sweet about it when I went to tuck him in that night and she was lying next to him in his bed. When he said his prayers that night he thanked God for her.

Oh, it gets better. That weekend Hot Jeff camped in the living room with the kids and he overheard Samuel say to Fiona, "I love you. Goodnight." Jeff whispered to him, "Samuel, what does Shrek think about you loving Fiona so much?" "Don't say that name to me, Dad" Samuel barked.

When Samuel takes a bath at night he props Fiona up on the counter and tells us, "She likes to watch me take a bath".

Have you pee'd your pants laughing yet? Ordered a psych eval on my kid yet? Well here ya' go...while in Montana last week Samuel took his church shoes to Jeff and asked if he would help put them on. Jeff inquired why and Samuel told him it was because he and Fiona were getting married and these were his 'wedding shoes'. He walked around with her all night telling everyone who would listen that he had "married his darling". No kidding.

The next morning he announced to me that he and Fiona had a baby (I can only assume they got married because she was pregnant) and I texted Kara the news, "A mother-in-law and a grandmother all within 18 hours". "Congratulations" she texted back.

Since we were on vacation I got a lot of pictures and wouldn't you know that Fiona is in all of them. Well, why wouldn't she be? She is Samuel's darling after all.

Samuel and Fiona on the Montana/Wyoming border.


Emily, Nana, Samuel and...Fiona

Posing naked at Nana's with their silly glasses and...Fiona.

This afternoon I had a quick follow up with the surgeon who had done my stent and I took the kids as I knew it would be in and out. I made Samuel leave Fiona in the car because it was pouring and I was afraid she would get wet and I would have to deal with a devastated Samuel while at the hospital. We ended up waiting for 55 minutes to see the surgeon because he had "an emergency come up" and when we returned to the car I heard Samuel say to Fiona in an exasperated voice, "Fiona, I am so sorry that took so long. I hope you didn't miss me too much."

I found a Fiona ogre plush doll on ebay and I think I'm going to get it for him. He will go absolutely bonkers over it; all the crazy he has left in his bottle he will just dump all over the floor and roll in it. It should be awesome. I'll try and roll some video for you.

Damsel in Distress

With another rainy Oregon day on our hands we declared yesterday a pajama day.

We brought the rocket ship (the box Ella was shipped in) downstairs from the playroom and Samuel and Emily flew to the moon, played hide and seek and saved the princess over and over from the dangerous, fire breathing dragon who apparently resides in our hall closet.

While unloading the dishwasher I heard them marching around the family room, foam swords in hand. I heard Samuel direct his sister, "We must save the Princess. She's going to be eaten. Hurry, we must find her". They marched in to the kitchen where I was bent over my most favorite of all household appliances. Samuel shouted excitedly, "There's the Princess. She's unloading the dishwasher. Saaaaaave her!"

Yes, please save me from the dreaded duty of unloading the dishwasher and vacuuming and cleaning toilets and folding laundry... and for crying out loud someone get me a tiara!

Wash With Like Colors and Tumble Dry Low (A Precautionary Tail)

Typically I don't blog at 8:30 in the morning. Usually I blog at night after Samily have gone to bed and while Hot Jeff reads the paper and I just schedule it to post the next morning while you are sleeping soundly. Bestie Kim likes to read it with her morning coffee so I try to please her by having fresh stuff up in the am. Today though, my home is in post-vacation tornado status and I'm trying to do anything and everything instead of cleaning it. I'm pretty sure the disaster known as post-vacation is covered under my homeowners insurance.

I also needed to get another post up because seriously, how lame was yesterday's post? I'm not even sure telling you about how good it felt to sleep in my own bed counts as a real post. You can stop throwing tomatoes at me...I have a good post for you today. The suggestion comes from Eric the Bastard who I don't think is a bastard anymore. Thanks to our mutual friend, Green-Bean Stir Fry Rachel, we are now Facebook friends and it appears he has stopped breaking up with girls who have black eyes, and breaking up with girls who have black eyes is the sole reason he was a bastard.

Eric the not-a-bastard-anymore read the post about me killing my neighbor's cat and sent me a note on Facebook reminding me of the time my cat Macy got locked in the dryer. Yes, I said dryer. As in the large household appliance used to remove moisture from a load of clothing. Just making sure we're on the same page.

It was the summer between my sophomore and junior year of college and I was still living at home at my Mom's house in Park City. We had some company coming from out of town the following day. Having sworn off summer classes, I was home washing bedding for the guest bedroom. The bedspread on the guest bed was a charming quilt my Mom had sewn; it was thick and cozy and a favorite place for my cat, Macy, to lay. To be ready for company I decided to wash it and hang it out on the line to dry.

Only minutes after I hung the freshly washed, wet quilt out on the line it started to rain. I darted out the back door and rescued the rung out quilt from becoming dripping with the Montana summer shower.

I had just put the quilt in the dryer when the phone rang. Leaving the dryer door open I ran to answer the phone. It was Eric the not-a-bastard-yet calling to confirm our dinner plans for that evening. With the cordless phone I went back to the laundry room and without thought or hesitation, finished shoving the quilt in and shut the dryer door. I turned it on for 70 minutes and turned the setting to "Cotton/Sturdy". I turned out the light and shut the door before sitting and gabbing on the phone.

About 5 minutes in to the conversation I said to Eric, "I hear something. I hear a weird thumping". I sat quietly, listening closer. Me-ooow. Thump. Me-ooow. Thump. Me-oow. Thump. Like a bolt of lightning it hit me what had happened, I shouted in to the phone, "oooooooh nooooooo" and dropped it, sprinting to the laundry room. I flung open the dryer door and madly dug into the quilt. I felt damp fur and gently pulled the limp cat from the inside of the heavy, still sodden quilt. Macy weakly cried as I patted her head.

This would be a good time for Eric to comment and let us know if I hung up the phone or if he had to just sit and listen to me sob and pray that I hadn't killed my cat. I don't remember. I just remember the feel of her clammy fur and how her tongue hung droopily out of her panting mouth.

I rushed outside to the patio in an attempt to cool her down. The rain was softly falling and it was cool for a June day. I sat out there, holding her and crying for 10 minutes or so when I decided to come in and call the veterinarian.

The vet had me do a few home-tests to test Macy's vision and hearing and since she was standing and her tongue wasn't hanging out anymore he concluded she didn't need to be seen. She was walking like it was her 21st birthday but overall she seemed to be coming out of it ok.

I went on to have pizza at Eric's house that night and Macy went on to live another 4 or 5 years, much to mother's chagrin. When she died years after the unpleasant event I had Mom bury her in a Maytag box with a fabric sheet.


p.s.
This is why I don't blog while the kids are awake...Samuel just cut Emily's hair.

I can't think of a thing to write about. Not one single thing.

We are home from Montana and I feel all lazy and sloth-like. The kids are in bed and I just want to curl up next to Hot Jeff and read a book and enjoy the feeling of my own bed, my soft sheets and my fat cat lying next to me. Oh, the sweet pleasures of being home.

The kids were amazing on the ride home. It took us just under 16 hours to get home which is so much better than the 18 it took to get out there. We stopped so many times on the way there because of my dysfuntional kidneys and stented bladder. My husband is a saint and didn't make me pee in the container I had brought along even once. He never rolled his eyes when I said I needed to stop and he even encouraged me to drink lots of water as it would aide in my recovery. I adore that man and his endless patience and kindness.

Today was a great day of unwinding, getting the house back in order and catching up on emails and grocery shopping. Now that I'm home I'm hoping my brain will move from not blogging to blogging and once again I will lie awake writing posts in my head and arguing with myself about what to write about next.

I may have to use a prompt tomorrow...I'm just warning you. I saved all the ones from last time I was in a funk so I'm armed!

Praying for Your Kids Monday
Yahweh Yireh ~ The Lord Will Provide

(yah-WEH yir-EH)

Ann Spangler writes of Yahweh Yireh, "The Hebrew raah (RA-ah, from which yireh is derived) means "to see". In this case [Genesis 22:13-14], it is translated as "provide". Since God sees the future as well as the past and present, He is able to anticipate and provide for what is needed. When you pray to Yahweh Yireh, you are praying to the God who sees the situation beforehand and is able to provide for your needs".

God first revealed this name to Abraham in Genesis when He provided a ran for Abraham to sacrifice after Abraham had not withheld anything, even his own son, from God.

I remember reading this story after becoming a mother. I heard the story hundreds of times before but my mother's heart came in to play while reading it this time. I imagined Abraham's heart as he headed up the mountain to sacrifice his only son as God had asked of him. Had he told Sarah? Did she know that this was no ordinary trip and that her son would not be returning with his father? I simply cannot fathom how Abraham, and possibly Sarah, felt as God called them to sacrifice their only son, the child they had prayed and prayed for.

In Spangler's book she asks the reader to put themselves in the place of God in this story, to imagine how happy it must have made Him to provide the ram so that Abraham wouldn't have to sacrifice his son. I imagine that as pleased as He was with Abraham's obedience His heart ached looking in to the future and knowing that one day He would provide His own Son as the ransom for the whole world.

God's grace is never cheap. Through the blood of His only Son He has provided for every spiritual, material and emotional need we, or our children, will ever need. May we never take His ultimate sacrifice for granted, may our children always know His redemption was bought with a price and long to obey Him without compromise.

Yahweh Yireh, thank You for seeing my children and their circumstances long before they ever will and long before they can understand. Yahweh Yireh, You long to bless __________ for his obedience to You. I pray You will pour Your Spirit out on him and he will never forget that Your grace isn't cheap. I pray You will help __________ to obey without hesitation and without compromise. Amen.

I Found My Password

Ok, so I didn't really lose my password...I'm just a total slacker.

And since today is FAQ Friday I'll make up a question that suits what I want to write about...

How's your vacation going?

Oh, thanks for asking. My vacation is going wonderful. I didn't realize how much I needed it.

I have this misconception that vacation equates big trip with daily activities that typically include a Disney character. As I've reflected these last few days I realize I have had this misconception and while a busy vacation is a wonderful get-away its typically not all that relaxing. This Montana trip has been SO relaxing.

More times than not, when we come out here Jeff has stayed home. Not because he hates my Mom or Montana but rather because we are coming for 2-3 weeks and he just doesn't have that kind of vacation time to just blow on one trip. So, Hot Jeff is out here with me (spreading his hotness to the friendly folks of the Big Sky Country) and so I don't have that pull of loving being here but really missing my husband. 2 words: huge release.

Another thing is I really underestimated how much recovery I would actually need after my little kidney stone incident. I've been surprised at some of the residual pain/discomfort I've had and how I have needed to take a pain pill or two and watch a movie on Mom's couch. Its been so nice to have the freedom to do that.

Lastly, as I shared very briefly and flippantly a few posts ago, my Shrink increased my depression/anxiety meds from 20mg to 40mg. As you may or may not know, any change in that kind of medicine typically takes 3-4 weeks for the effects to be felt. This week in Montana has been the 4th week and its has been astounding to me to see the change those extra 20mg have made in my heart and head.

Its interesting to me that God allowed my physical and emotional needs to culminate and come to a head simultaneously. During my time on the couch or sleeping in late I've reflected and in turn praised and thanked God for giving me this week of relaxation which has brought my body and heart restoration. I truly feel like "my old self' again and I know the Lord has used the power of medicine and science to bring healing from head to toe.

In the last few weeks of emotional struggle I have felt the El Roi (the God who sees me) so close to me. Not necessarily speaking in a booming voice and giving me "aha" moments every morning but more a of a quiet arm around my shoulders loving me and comforting me. I've felt His Presence reminding me that we all have seasons of silence and struggle, and in my case, even when all circumstances are going perfect and we don't even have a "reason" for sadness or strife. Sometimes the internal strife needs just as much attention as the external.

So that's my last week of internet quiet in a nutshell. Thanks for being patient. Thanks for your funny comments. Thanks for reading my rambling thoughts day after day. Thanks for loving me through this online journal. I take full responsibility for your poor kids who most definitely haven't been prayed for all week long--poor babies.