The Mother Hen

Hot Jeff's "Other Woman"

I've known about her for a little over a week now. I knew she was thin, sleek, and didn't weigh very much. I knew she was easy and fast and her drive was hard. I knew that in April Hot Jeff would start spending all his spare time and weekends with her and I knew she was single and lookin' for a home to wreck.

Here's what I didn't know...I didn't know she'd come knocking at my door at 8:30 this morning looking like a million bucks and flashing her red hot smile. How dare she come to my home when I was in my pajamas and hadn't had my second cup of coffee yet?

Here's what else I didn't know...I didn't know I would love her. I took one look at her and knew why Jeff had chosen her. She was sleek, charming and oh so...portable. Oh I tried to stop, I tried to tell her, "No, this isn't right...Jeff needs you. I have a PC whom I'm compatible with, whom I've shared hours and memories with. Stop. Stop looking at me like that." She sat there quietly, looking at me with those penetrating, almost invisible web cam eyes. I knew she had read my soul.

Jeff does need her. The Becker course starts in just a few short weeks and he will need her speed, reliability and...oh it kills me...portability. I have fought the urge to hold her, caress her, buy her a matching case with my initials monogrammed on it...for now.

I've named her Ruby. Like the great Kenny Rogers song, "Ruby, Don't Take Your Love to Town" she is a firecracker whose passion I can't contain. And, well, she is after all...red.

You've painted up your lips

And rolled and curled your tinted hair

Ruby are you contemplating

Going out somewhere

The shadow on the wall

Tells me the sun is going down

Oh Ruby...

Don't take your love to town