The Mother Hen

Mitchell Took a Midnight Train

I wanted to write about how I got Coach Riley to call Jeff on his 34th birthday but if I don't write about Mitchell sooner rather than later it is going to lose all of its relevance. Plus I heard a song on the radio today that reminded me of Mitchell (its pretty much "our song") and no one could understand my pain except for Maryanne. I'm writing for closure. For catharsis.

Two weekends ago while Hot Jeff and I were in Seattle for the OSU game I met Mitchell. Ugh, I'm getting ahead of myself, before I go any further I need to back up for a minute...

Ever since "Will and Grace" I've wanted a gay guy for a best friend. Who didn't just love the relationship between Will and Grace--it was perfect. Will made everyone want a gay guy for a best friend, am I right? Don't we all want someone we can sing show tunes with? I know I do.

Well so far the universe hasn't given me my Will. It has given me my Hot Jeff. And my Samily. And saggy boobs. And an affinity for nutella but so far it hasn't given me my Will. Well until I went to Seattle two weekends ago. And even then it didn't give me a Will so much as it just screwed with me.

Our seats were in the general admission end zone so we knew we would be surrounded mostly by Husky fans and if we got lucky a few Beaver fans. As the seats began filling up around us 3 Beaver fans sat in the row in front of us. We all gave the obligatory high fives and as soon as they turned around to face the field Jeff and I looked at each other and mouthed the word, "Mitchell". One of the Beaver fans was a red head with red facial hair and he looked EXACTLY like Mitchell from "Modern Family" If you don't know what Mitchell looks like and therefore can't picture MY Mitchell then I will insert this picture.

One difference, ok 2, My Mitchell has glasses and My Mitchell is a little younger.

Mitchell and I hit it right off. As soon as the awful 1st quarter was over and Oregon State started scoring we were slapping hands and becoming best friends.

At one point the Husky band started playing a catchy little tune and I looked at Jeff to see if he could name that tune. Jeff was too wrapped up in the game to play along and when I turned back I saw it... my heart skipped... it was Mitchell singing the words, "Just a city boy, born and raised in South Detroit...He took a midnight train goin' anywhere". Oh yeah baby, Mitchell knew the words to Journey's Midnight Train. He was singing it to me with his hand as the microphone. Was this a mirage? Could I have imagined this perfect person singing Journey, along with a pep band no less? I was in love.

Throughout the game it turned out that Mitchell was the funniest person I had ever met. And it was looking as though he thought I was equally as witty and charming (several times he repeated my witty comments back to his buddies, who laughed and then became green with envy over Mitchell's awesome new girlfriend). He was quickly meeting all the criteria for my Will: 1) Be able to sing Journey songs with a pep band. 2) Be the funniest person I have ever met. 3) Think I am irresistibly witty and charming.

Before I knew it the game was in double overtime and silence had befallen our small group of Beaver Believers. As the ball slipped out of Joe Halahuni's hands and the Husky siren blared I sat down and put my head in my hands. The only thing making me feel any better was knowing I had met Mitchell, the Universe had finally given my my Will, and I raised my head to ask if Mitchell was on Facebook only to see he was gone. The 2 other (clearly gay) guys were pulling him down the bleachers and he walked out of my life forever.

Later that night I shared my disappointment with Hot Jeff over meeting Mitchell, how could the Universe be so cruel to give him to me only to take him from me so quickly? As only Hot Jeff can do, he cheered me up by reminding me I had purchased a really killer hat earlier that day AND that I would always have the memory of Mitchell. Oh Hot Jeff, you know just what to say when your wife is inconsolable over the loss of the one great gay friendship of her life.

Someday I will return to Husky stadium to watch my Beavers play again. Probably in 2012. And I will go to those exact same seats and I will wait with bated breath for Mitchell; I know in my heart Mitchell is out there somewhere pining over me and what could have been. I know he is humming our song, Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard Their shadows searching in the night Streetlights, people, living just to find emotion Hiding, somewhere in the night. Don't stop believin' Hold on Streetlight people Ohhhhh, woooooah.